Japan Siezes Manchuria!

September 20, 1931

Sam Walsh

Throughout the day, yesterday Japan conducted a series of military operations throughout the area of north eastern China known as Manchuria. The Chinese army Resisted very little, surrendering immediately in most cases as the Japanese rolled through dozens of Manchurian cities, including  the large city of Mukden. China's government is expected to make a statement saying it will yield to Japan's call for independance.

Japan reports that on the night of September 18th, Chinese dissidents blew up a section of the Japanese Railroad near Mukden.

The Japanese Government maintains that their interests in Manchuria must be protected from Chinese attacks. China however, claims that their military had nothing to do with the railroad incident.

Japan has stated that they will institute an independent government in Manchuria, effectively making it into a new country independent of China. It was said that the Great World War was to be a war to end all wars, yet the peoples of the earth watch uneasily as tensions again strain througout the globe.

Senator Stiles Announces Presidential Candidacy
August 18, 1931

Herb Graft

Senator Everett Stiles, our esteemed Democratic Senator from New Jersey today announced his intention to run for the office of the president. The Senator's Candidacy has long been rumored. He bounded into the lime-light two years ago as a staunch defender of the Prohibition Act. Senator Stiles, chairman of the Senate Agricultural, Nutrition and Forestry Committee, is the foremost opponent to a new Constitutional amendment which will repeal the Prohibition act of 1919.

The amendment, proposed by Senator John Blaine is currently struggling to reach the senate floor.

Senator Stiles stands resolutely in it's path. The approval of this Amendment, in it's current form, hinges on a key vote within the Agricultural, Nutrition and Forestry Committee to be held on February 28.

Senator Stiles' announcement for candidacy was made by his chief of staff, Frank Russo. When asked about the Senator's strategy for winning his partie's nomination over democratic favorite, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Mr. Russo responded, "That remains a bit of a mystery for now, but I suppose we'll start by having a dinner party."

The editor's would like to apologize for a typo in this column. Some of our papers were printed and distributed with an incorrect date. This date should read August 18th, 1931.